Who am I? 

What defines me? 

Who is that other person? 

What defines her?

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These are ever present questions in our minds. We assess ourselves, we assess others. It is our basic natural instinct to do so. We are wired for survival. And in order to survive, we need to assess how we are doing. We need to assess whether others pose a threat. We assess whether we succeed or fail with a certain behavior. 

 

But how do we do that? Our minds use tools, learnings, and stories to support our conclusions. One of these tools is roles.

 

As “recognized” as roles are, they are unnatural. They are mind prisons we construct ourselves. And when you think about it, this must make sense: Millions of individual human beings do not fit specific artificial role constructs designed centuries ago. Designed by people’s minds and formed to a role accepted by a specific group with specific values potentially different to yours. Everyone is unique. Behaviors are different. We have different wishes, strengths, and weaknesses. It is a combination of millions of little details that define us. And no “one size fits all” role can capture this. No role should. It is an affront. We need to stop this. We need to find another way. Another way where we can truly be ourselves and see others the same. I was looking for this other way. And I went through a downfall to get to my awakening.

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